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Tell u one thing when they really want it 9/5/2004
I had this one girl that i was dating that told me that she
wanted to save herself, that she made a promise and didnt
want to break it....this promise was that she wouldnt have
vaginal sex until she was out of college...a ludicrous
promise but nonetheless...i couldnt get anything from
her...nothing at all...then finally she agreed to let
me fuck her anally...so her promise would remain ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
34 Votes
,3.33 Score |
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Friendly's 8/26/2004
When I first started going out with my girlfriend, we went
to an ice cream store called Friendly's. I ordered
what I wanted then let her order...she looked at the waitress
and said "I'd like a Reese's Penis Cup."
I buckled over laughing as she got red at her Freudian slip...
<br>
Of course, later I gave her what she really wanted, but for
then and there, she got her ice cream
0 Comments, 23 Views,
38 Votes
,7.14 Score |
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Never break !!! 8/17/2004
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke,
work on it as hard as you possibly can. And if you can't
fix what's broke, it's smarter to cut your losses
and get out than it is to stay for two years trying to fix it
in vain.
0 Comments, 17 Views,
31 Votes
,6.12 Score |
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Blow Job 8/11/2004
Q: What is the best thing about a blow job?
<br>
A: The five minutes of silence.
1 Comments, 24 Views,
129 Votes
,6.83 Score |
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Success to a Male 8/11/2004
To a man, the meaning of success depends on his age:
<br>
At age 4, success is not peeing in his pants.
<br>
At age 16, success is "gettin' a little".
<br>
At age 50, success is about career and family.
<br>
At age 65, success is "gettin' a little".
<br>
At age 90, success is not peeing in his pants.
0 Comments, 20 Views,
45 Votes
,6.59 Score |
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Threesome 8/11/2004
Mary: My last boyfriend said he fantasized about having
two girls at once.
<br>
Jill: Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?
<br>
Mary: I said, "If you can't satisfy one woman,
why would you want to piss off another one?"
0 Comments, 28 Views,
115 Votes
,9.15 Score |
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True Meaning of Weddings 8/9/2004
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered
to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
<br>
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today
is the happiest day of her life, " her mother explained,
keeping it simple.
<br>
The thought for a moment and said, "So why is
the groom wearing black?"
0 Comments, 29 Views,
32 Votes
,7.37 Score |
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Little Flasher 8/9/2004
There was an exhibitionist that wanted to flash someone.
He went to the airport and looked around. He saw a young lady
taking tickets and he went to the end of the line. When he
got to the front, he opened his jacket and flashed her.
<br>
She said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
0 Comments, 21 Views,
59 Votes
,8.33 Score |
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Doggy Style 8/9/2004
Two buddies were sharing drinks and discussing their wives.
<br>
"Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?"
asked the one.
<br>
"Well, not exactly, " his friend replied.
"She's more into the 'trick dog' aspect
of it."
<br>
"Oh, I see. Kinky, huh?"
<br>
"Well, not exactly -- I sit up and beg, and she rolls
over and plays dead."
0 Comments, 35 Views,
77 Votes
,8.35 Score |
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My Wife's a Liar 8/9/2004
"That wife of mine is a liar, " said the angry
husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him at the bar.
<br>
"How do you know?" the friend asked.
<br>
"She didn't come home last night, and when I asked
her where she'd been, she said that she had spent the
night with her sister, Shirley."
<br>
"So?"
<br>
"So she's a liar. I spent the night ...
0 Comments, 134 Views,
61 Votes
,8.63 Score |
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what were they thinking for the matter what was i thinking 8/6/2004
ok this a little story of a 34 female who after her divorce
went 2 years with out sex , then one day she came across NeedAQuicky
well it was like a in a candy store lol.well she put a profile
up described what she was lookin for in detail even put some
pictures up , waited to see what would happen checked back
in a couple of days and wow so many ims what to do now so she
read , replied to some of ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
22 Votes
,4.33 Score |
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How to be a good wife/partner LOL 7/29/2004
Be a good wife. 1955 (keep reading it gets better)
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to
have a delicious meal ready for his return from work. This
is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about
him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect
of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part ...
1 Comments, 67 Views,
37 Votes
,6.54 Score |
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The night i met my hubby 7/29/2004
Me & a few friends of mine were out clubbing, we had been
dancing most of night & decided to go cool off &
get another drink at the coffee bar(yes I did say coffee
bar n no we weren't drinking coffee lol), the place
was packed as per usual so we squashed ourselves onto one
half of a table.
We got chatting to some guys who were sat on the other side
of the table & by this time we were all ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
53 Votes
,5.20 Score |
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A wife and a job 7/28/2004
Whats the differance between your job and your wife of 15
years?
<br>
<br>
<br>
Your job still Sucks!
0 Comments, 33 Views,
49 Votes
,6.23 Score |
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The pay back 7/26/2004
A friend shared this story with me and it is a must read for
all guys!
<br>
He was a freshman in College/University, and he was out
partying having a typicla college night. This hot girl
and her friends come in who are in second year he decides
to step to her. Well this 2nd year Diva totally blows him
off. She even grand stands as she is infront of all of her
friends and ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
27 Votes
,2.08 Score |
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Never give a woman a watch 7/25/2004
Why should you never give a woman a watch?
<br>
Because there's one on the friggin stove!!
0 Comments, 11 Views,
33 Votes
|
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Why You Might Not Deserve a Hot, Older Woman 7/20/2004
Men, are you looking for that hot, older woman experience?
Do you think that your young age is all that is necessary
to attract her? Are you finding out that things aren't
quite going your way in the seduction department? Well,
I'm here to help you boys with a list of tips and suggestions:
<br>
1. Come-on line that never works: "You remind me of
my mom and she's pretty cool." ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
63 Votes
,7.98 Score |
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Temptations 7/13/2004
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we
decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way,
and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was
her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law
was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low
cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when ...
0 Comments, 125 Views,
73 Votes
,9.44 Score |
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RE: Something for the cock nazis 7/7/2004
This complaint is no different than the man who requests
a specific breast, waist or ass size. Barbie isn't
common either!
0 Comments, 61 Views,
23 Votes
,3.83 Score |
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Impressing 7/5/2004
Impressing a woman:
-Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hug her. Hold her. Surprise
her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Laugh with her. Cry withher.
Cuddle with her. Shop with her. give her jewelry. Buy her
flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Write
poetry for her. Go to the end of the earth and back again for
her.
Impressing a man:
-Show up naked. Bring beer.
0 Comments, 19 Views,
49 Votes
,7.86 Score |
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Cake or bed?? 6/25/2004
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE
INTERRUPTS, "HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE
HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW."
HE LOOKED AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, "FIX THE LIGHTS
NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I
DON'T THINK SO."
"FINE, " THEN THE WIFE ASKS, "WELL THEN,
COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT."
TO ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
56 Votes
,7.79 Score |
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Making his Jaw Drop! 6/15/2004
So you say your boy has a past. Well so do many women.
I find it hilarious that men think they're locker room
secrecy is amusing.
No actually - It pratically takes all the air in any room
your in with them. 2 men hide the truth in secrecy about their
minds. The silence is thick as water.
Its amusing to know men have so little control of the mind.
So join his amused ...
0 Comments, 24 Views,
50 Votes
|
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Re:how long do you wait to unleash those 'other' bodily functions? 6/13/2004
My husband got me good one night early on in our relationship
by farting in bed and then waving the blankets on my side
so it came up at me. I got him back the next night by belching
a day's-worth of gas in his ear. I think we'd been
together about five months at that point, and I'd just
moved in with him. But we were completely comfortable with
each other and capable of doing those ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
34 Votes
,6.57 Score |
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A Tall Erotic Tail 6/8/2004
I'm traveling around the country visiting friends
and when I get to an old friends town. He graciouly invites
me to stay at his house. After an evening of drinking wine
and talking about old times. Leaving us both buzzed and
happy by the time we call it a night. I go to the bathroom and
when I come out he is standing in the hall. I smile. Goodnight,
I say. Goodnight, he says but neither of ...
0 Comments, 143 Views,
61 Votes
,3.89 Score |
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virgin ? 5/31/2004
A couple is laying in bed, post-coital. The woman leans
over and SMACKS her husband.
"What was that for?" he asks.
"That!" she exclaims, "was for being
a lousy lover!"
He thinks about it for a minute, then reaches over and SMACKS
her.
"What was THAT for?" she cries, outraged.
"THAT was for knowing the difference...."
0 Comments, 35 Views,
79 Votes
,8.84 Score |
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For The Guys 5/25/2004
This is my first article but I know it will be a good one because
I know something about women that guys don't realize
til its too late. Men out there...Most women are indeed
crazy. Ladies let me explain myself before I am crucified
for my words. Women are crazy in the sense that they know
what drives men wild...romantically, sexually and mentally.
This is why they ae crazy. If they ...
0 Comments, 57 Views,
45 Votes
,5.86 Score |
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Women who fart while your ****ing them....... 5/20/2004
Ok its like this. Just about every woman i've slept
with farts while i'm ****ing them. It's not an
*ss fart but a ****y fart. Sometimes it makes me feel alittle
nausea, but I know it's not her *ss. While she's
farting and i'm pumping, her ****Y starts to get tighter
and tighter. I know that it's her cummy ****y but it
just doesn't seem like it. Please someone tell me if
this has ever ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
59 Votes
,4.26 Score |
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expedient marriage 5/9/2004
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves
assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental
train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing
a room, the two
are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk
and she in
the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying,
"Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
72 Votes
,8.46 Score |
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How To Prey on a woman Weaknesses 5/9/2004
Work Her Body
If you’ve managed to attract the interest of a beautiful
woman free of charge, feed her body image paranoia so she
doesn’t come to her senses. She’s worried about not getting
enough exercise? Remind her that sex is great for cardio.
She’s worried about extra calories? That’s twice the Fluffernutters
for you!
<br>
Ride Her Mood ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
60 Votes
|
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most popular sex position? 5/5/2004
I heard this joke the other day. Not that it's true on
this site... but still kind of cute.
<br>
The AMA did a study and asked Americans what their favorite
sex position is. Number one was Doggie Style. That is when
the man sits up and begs and the woman rolls over and plays
dead.
<br>
drum roll.
<br>
OK well I told you it wasn't true for people on here ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
137 Votes
,8.52 Score |